Left or Right?

I remember the first time we attempted Kalecgos — 10 minutes until trash respawns, and when a portal appeared, it was like squid swarming around a feed bag, flailing at it with their soft jelly-like bodies trying vainly to get in.

Kalecgos Kill

But he's dead, finally. And of course the actual boss flies away, and instead that demon comes out and leaves behind what appears to be a shiny lump of toasted feces. Well, at least our positioning in the killshot is much better than usual, so we might be onto something here. And while the lack of a proper boss corpse is somewhat disheartening, the feeling of actually beating a difficult encounter is exhilarating. No matter what differences and personal issues we have with each other, no matter what kind of drama clusterfucks people start on the long wipe nights, when that boss goes down we ALL briefly turn into squealing 12-year-old girls in gymnastics uniforms and jump on each other and make out.



So now that we have that out of the way, on to more important things: for instance, finding out which way the guild "dresses to", left or right.

Not sure what I'm talking about? You're not the only one!

Left or Right?

From the data we managed to collect from last week's raid, it would seem that most of the guild dresses to the left. Either that, or they're saying it just to be cool and fit in with everyone. Which incidentally is exactly what happened when the topic of circumcision was brought up some months ago.

I think we're going to need to make this an interview question or something.

By the encouragement of several members of Group 1, I have extended this informal study beyond the guild, in the name of science. Doing an unofficial survey at work and amongst the people on my AIM and Facebook friend lists, I've found 1 guy and 2 girls that dress to the RIGHT.

"What Mister Kain?"

"How can girls "dress" like that?"


Legendary Trap

That's taking things a little far, sure. You figure nobody would EVER fall for that. But then again you also figure that the first instinct most people would have when they see fire, for instance, is to not stand in it. Nope. Not here. Here the neon glow of the flames attracts squid like the fluorescent lights in the twilight pools where they feed, and they tumble over each other in a mess of ink and drool trying to be the first in the fray. Or, in this case, the trap.

Which is what happened the LAST time I posted traps on the front page.

"Wow Kain, that girl in the news post is hot! Although I don't really get the jokeā€¦"
"Dude, are you retarded? It's a man."
"What the fuck, no it's not!"
"Look closely. That's not a fold, it's a penis."
"Oh shi—"

At this point realization seeps in, and though we haven't lost anyone to this yet, their lives will likely never be the same again.

You have to remember also that our raiders essentially look something like this:

Slippery Boggle

One-legged stream hoppers, rat goblins, a goat man that eats paint chips, and some sort of swamp toad that looks suspiciously like an unholy merger of Kazajin, Illside, and an aborted duck fetus.

But it's ok. We have a foothold in Sunwell, and have proven to ourselves that we can work together and overcome challenges that require moderate coordination. Next is Brutallus, as Dan put it, "that guy that makes hats out of people".