Do Not Know If Want

Another few weeks go by, and it's time for another update to the front page. This time we're dealing with the Illidari Council, the second-to-last boss of Black Temple, and the so-called "super bowl of not standing in shit". And indeed, there's many different things you have to watch for and avoid. This sounds easy on paper, but poses a unique challenge to us. Before you argue remember that we are a guild that embraces and even respects people like Pezz, who last I checked was being pursued by police from 3 states due to the "hey guys give me a number to call and I'll talk shit to them" episode earlier this week. He was drunk, there was vent, and the result of that is about 1.5 hours of epic recorded footage and the 6 people involved nearly getting a hernia laughing.

Council Kill

Not that hard of a fight quite honestly. We spent about an hour 2 weeks ago learning what all the abilities did, then came in this week (having forgotten everything) and wiped at 90% twice, then got them to 2%, and on next attempt collected epics despite having to 24-man the fight due to a "hunter glitch". It's all about situational awareness, and thankfully that's something we've been able to learn over the course of our raiding career.

Situational Awareness

When somebody does something dumb and wipes the raid, people get angry. Some people get angrier than most. Like Benix. Do it enough times, and he enrages. And if you're the clown responsible for this particular instance of fail, then the tapping noise you hear on vent is him punching his screen with both hands trying to uppercut you over the internet. One day that will be possible, and as you stand in a blizzard or doomfire and attempt to heal yourself with bandages your door will fly open, and to the blaring sounds of Master of Puppets you will be charged by a very angry man with a cardboard viking helmet and axe:

Beer Viking

And now that Council is dead, we can begin work on Illidan. It might start a little slowly, since people are still taking finals and writing papers and we may not have the ideal raid group every night. But soon summer will start, and he will be dead - faster than Vashj and Kael and Archimonde, most likely.

Speaking of finals and term papers, here's an excerpt of an essay written by one of our "special" members, on the topic of "Inter-family Psychology". Remember kids, if you need to write a paper, take the night off from raiding. If you raid on one screen and compose essays on the other between trash pulls while talking on vent, you get this:

ok i was on newgrounds watching movies no biggy my sis said she was gona take a shower i here her shut the door and the shower start.10 minets latershe hut off the water i then here the door open i knew that she couldent of tryed her self off.I looked back and you could emagin my face when i saw her naked. she said"havent you sceen a naked women before" my face was in horror at what i saw she held up her breasts and said "are you scared of thease" wich gave me huge wood.She then walked down the stares she sat on my lab. we were both there have naked then i herd the window crash i jumped back and put my pants back on i told my sis to hide in tha basement i grabed my sword then jumped out the window and got on the roof.There was 6 nijnas the one standing in the back looked like the boss i slised through the first 5 nijas then i stood 5 feet away from the boss he took his sword out it light with the power of the moon i swong my sword at him and he blocked it i slid on my back till i was under hin then i lifted my leg and nailed him in the croch he fell over and i then choped of his head i became a highlander.


Until next time, when I will post a picture of Illidan sprawled dead on the ground and (with any luck) myself holding a shield that looks like a car door. Focus, practice, and remember that there's a lot of incentive to kill him: the next update will be much longer than usual to celebrate the clearing of Black Temple, and will contain new and better jokes, beautiful women, kittens, a story of what happens when dumb people drink too much, and of course the long-awaited real-life picture of Kazajin.

See you then.